waking up

I like waking up with the window open, fresh air I think has been key in making me feel better. And I like waking up and hearing the outside. Dogs in the houses, birds on the roof, and mainly geese flying overhead. There has been a lot of goose activity lately, and they really make their presence known with their loud honking call. But I like it, it makes me smile. We are lucky really, although we live on a new build estate in a town, we are pretty much right on the outskirts, with a field of sheep down the road, and a (all be it man made) lake nearby. It means we have/get lots of nature nearby. I don't think I could live in a city/town, not properly, I'd miss nature too much. And what's all this fresh air and bird song doing to me, it making me want to plan a camping trip... Wonder if we can fit a weekend in before our wedding? :)

blogging from my bed!

So, no I've not blogged for quite some time... Which may be something of an understatement! :) at this particular moment in time I'm writing this on my new blackberry, from the comfort of my bed, while watching finding nemo. Which is my 'poorly movie' of choice! I love the ocean, and its super cute, so when I'm feeling horrid its one of my first feel good movie choices. I've had a cold for just over a week and its just not shifting, so today I came home from work and spent the day in bed in an attempt to recouperate. In between marathon sleeping sessions I have been doing some thinking. I need to do things I enjoy more, I need to sketch and draw, paint and take photographs, and generally follow my heart. Small steps, and they will hopefully lead to big changes! X

bouquet pics

I'm feeling a bit rubbish

So not much blogging going on.

On the plus side, as from 5.30 this evening I have 11 days off work for Christmas.

I am hopeful that this will make me feel much better and I shall bounce into 2010 with a spring in my step and feel much happier.

Merry Christmas everyone. xx

2 posts in a day! Whatever next?

Do you ever have a hard time deciding who you want to be? rather than just being you and doing it?

Like I want to learn and do new things, which I see as parts of a new me because they are new and will make me who I will become once I have learnt them!

Making sense?

Nope didn't think so!

There are just so many things I want to do, and therefore become, that I'm a little confused at where to start.

This is where my impatience kicks in again. I want them all now, I want to be fabulous at everything, but with as little effort from me as possible.

Now that just never going to happen, I know this, you know this we all know this. But my brain does not want to take any notice of it, and wants things its way! Its not going to happen that way... cue crossing arms, pouting lips and frowning.

'Why not'

'just because ok, just because!"

'humph'

So what to do? slap myself round the face and get on with things.

Or, curl up in a ball, under the furry blanket, sulk, feel sorry for myself, sulk some more, possibly eat some chocolate, definitely eat some biscuits, with a cup of tea. Until finally I get fed up of sulking and nothing happening so I slap myself round the face and get on with things. For a week at least, until the same thing happens all over again...

Tea and biscuits anyone?

Dazed and Confused

It seems to me that most bloggers, or at least the writers on the ones I read, really do seem to have stuff sorted!

They know who they are, what they like, and generally what direction they want their lives to take, and are happily on that road. Of course there are a few bumps and potholes along the way, but generally they are heading in the direction they want to be.

I on the other hand, feel like I am stuck at spaghetti junction, have just been hit by a rather large truck, and am sitting on the side of the road with a map that seems to be in some alien language. Completely confused, completely bewildered and with a horrible headache!

Oh and the weather is bad so its a bit foggy too!

(ok the headache is a development of today, and the being hit by a truck is the cold I seem to be developing despite all my best efforts to make it go away!)

Now perhaps this is actually how everyone feels, others are just really good at hiding it, where as I just stand there looking slightly dazed.

At the moment, instead of looking forward to Xmas holidays for all the yummy food, sparkly lights and general merriment. I am just looking forward to the break and having some time to get my brain back on track and rejuvenate myself.

Now back to work, my cup of tea is getting cold. :)

*picture by Edward Monkton.